A Downside of Homeschooling

What an incredible few weeks it has been.

I have been working with a group of very inspirational high-school students between the ages of 14 and 18, teaching them entrepreneurship.  The first semester with them culminated last Saturday, with their business plan presentations to four very senior judges in front of an audience of almost 200 people, including the local County Governor and media.  Next semester we are moving on to Social Entrepreneurship.  It has kept me both busy and inspired.

Not too busy though to notice the absence of Connor.

Connor went to Australia at the beginning of this month, to spend six weeks with my family for Christmas.  The first time that any of us have been back there in well over three years.

The link to homeschooling?

On the upside, he can actually go this year, whereas in past years it has been school as usual, even on Christmas day, as it is not a relevant holiday here in Asia.

On the downside, having him home all of the time while homeschooling has brought us even closer together (and we were close before) and I have been missing him a lot, even with so much work going on.

I have had people tell me “I could never spend all that time with my kids” when I tell them we homeschool.  I know from other homeschoolers that they have also heard this.  Personally, I cannot imagine feeling this way.  I love being around kids (recently I have realized that this has become my term for anyone under about 21, sometimes under 30), not just spending time with Connor, but also with his friends and now, with our students for entrepreneurship.  Kids are hugely inspiring if you listen to them and get to know them as people.

What this few weeks without him around has foreshadowed is that in a few short years he will probably never live long-term with us again.  Whilst I would never want to stunt his life by wishing otherwise, that transition is going to be a very difficult one for me to make.

I never really thought of what homeschooling would do to our relationship.  I was confident that it would not be a negative, but I didn’t think about how much harder it would make it to get to know him so much better than when he was at school, only to have him move on.

Having tasted just a few weeks without him around and with three more to go – I am not looking forward to his final days living with us, at all.

A downside to homeschooling that I had never thought of.

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10 thoughts on “A Downside of Homeschooling

  1. I love that you wrote about this. I had to work through my own decision to homeschool in that I wanted to be sure it was not about not wanting to let go. After reading your post, I am thinking not looking forward to letting go is the best reason to homeschool.

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  2. Although my oldest is 10, I often think about how it will be when he/they are off on their own because we are so close. I know it must be extremely difficult! It must be so wonderful seeing that they are able and capable to function well without you but the hurt of them not being with you must get overwhelming at times 😦 I miss mine if he goes for the weekend with Grandma and papa!I wish I had words of comfort for you….hopefully it gets a little better each day and you are able to at least communicate frequently in some way or another!

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    • Thanks. Fortunately with Skype, email, Line etc. there are lots of ways for little chats. Normally I would get on and game with him, but work intruded on that. We have discussed that even for the far future, when he thinks that it will be cool that I can get online and game with his kids. Maybe if we have better immersion, it will even be like being there.
      You are right though – watching the independence is fantastic, as ultimately, surely that is a part of what we are trying to create as parents.

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  3. I understand what you are writing. My oldest may be going away this spring and definitely next fall. These next five months may be the last my son will live at home. He is now beginning to spread his wings for flight as I secretly hope the winless hope he never takes flight. My son must do what is best for him and not for emotional reasons. This transition will be hard on me.

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    • I feel for you. I am complaining about four years – five months left would be very hard. I am sure that you will be proud of him though when he leaves the nest.

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  4. I’m at an interesting position reading this post both as a new parent and a daughter who just moved out last year. I can definitely feel your struggle from another perspective after my own much-prolonged childhood. It indeed takes a lot to let go. However, looking at my daughter, I’m not hesitant at all to form these loving bonds with her knowing that one day the bond will have to transform and extend to include more freedom for her and more room to love the people who happen to cross her path as well. Easier said than done I’m sure, but I’m definitely looking forward to the challenge! Because that’s how we ourselves become more wise and more mature than we already are, no?!

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    • Totally agree. The last thing that I would want is for Connor to be an eternal dependant. That is not healthy for either party I think.
      As you say, it is about the bond transforming, not severing.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I know exactly what you mean. I will admit, I was a little curious about how things would go being with my lil guy all day. My husband also began working from home about 4 days a week. So I basically went to having the daytime with my men away to having us all together. I absolutely LOVE it! Like you, we have always been a tight little bunch. However, now we share an intimacy and an honesty that we wouldn’t have known had we not made these life changes. Like you, I will embrace my son moving forward with his life when he’s ready but I will miss him and our time together something fierce.

    Happy Holidays!

    Liked by 1 person

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